I am not Spong

I feel much better

Tue, 04 Sep 2007 14:37:54 GMT

Well that was shortlived, but it was necessary and in the end, Im happy anyway... so alls well that ends well...

But seriously, what is it with me and school girls? Some might call it a fetish, but I wouldnt say that, they come to me!

So now theres only Tenison and it will be one from each school...

woo hoo... not

At least this time, she is being friends...

Fri, 24 Aug 2007 11:21:14 GMT

Ok so the day after I made that last post, I recieved a text message.

"I know i'm the last person you want to hear from... But i just wanted to know how you were going, and to explain some things. I'm aware that I haven't been the nicest person to you and i want to clear it up. I thought if you hated me then it would be easier for you to move on and be happy. I did, and still do want to be friends but i didn't know if you would be okay with it. I know that doesn't excuse the way i have treated you but thats my weird form of logic. I never lied to you. I never would have. I cant explain why my feelings changed... I wish they hadn't but they did. I know its late so I will stop now. If you dont wanna reply then thats okay. I understand. I'm really sorry josh. Really. Bye xoxo"

Before I begin, that last post wasnt an invitation for you to get in contact with me, that text message did a good job of fucking up my day.

I've been advised to not reply to you, so I'm not, I guess that you'll see this at some point.

No, you havent been nice to me, you did a good job of insulting me, and hurting my character, not to mention your friends coming on my livejournal and leaving ridiculously shitty comments.

Basically in trying to make me hate you, you made me not like who you have become, I still dont. It didnt make getting over you easier, it made it harder. You just made all the happy memories I have of the time we were together, just that much more painful.

Y'know I wish we could be friends, I'd have thought that being friends would have made things easier but you just didnt see it that way.

The way I see it, You've changed, and I doubt that we could be friends, you did a good job of burning the bridge we built together.

I gave you the opportunity to be friends with me, I messaged you many times, to ask how your day was, how things in your life was going. All I got in response was cold, one word responses. From memory, you only responded constructively once and you initiated a good msn conversation... at that point, I thought you would be friends with me.

When I was told how you reacted when you saw I was at the performance, I was hurt. When I was told you stared at me and necked a bottle of vodka, I was hurt.

It turns out, that night actually planted a seed which has grown into my happiness.

I miss how good friends we were, and wish that we could still be friends.

Can I say again how much recieving that message fucked my day up? Lots.

Also...

dont finish a text message to your exboyfriend with xoxo. Its not very good.

woah

Tue, 14 Aug 2007 03:14:06 GMT

So like, Im happy again. Thats kick ass!

My recent adventure to Warrnambool was a complete failure in the sense, that I achieved nothing I planned to, but it was still fun...

Umm

Punk Jumps rule.

My new band is coming along nicely and hopefully, when we find a singer (Who isnt a "Metal as fuck" wanker!) things will get going quickly.

Thats enough for today...

Deleted!

Wed, 18 Jul 2007 10:07:52 GMT

I got deleted from the friends list...

If you dont like me, just say it!

New developments... or something...

Tue, 10 Jul 2007 04:04:21 GMT

In the middle of a texting conversation last night, I got this...

"...At the drama after party when she grabbed the bottle of vodka and drank most of it in one go she was looking at you. So you do have some effect on her..."

So like, nothing makes sense and I'm confused...

if she hates me so much, was she getting drunk to spite me?

Thats so sad.

I really wish that we could stay friends, but if its too hard for the other then its just too hard...

Also...

"When I told everyone at work that she had dumped you, everyone was like "wtf? hes a kick ass guy, why would you do that?"...

SO yeah... Whatever...

I want so desperately to move on, but its so hard when all I hear from my family is "I saw Dani" this and "If Dani has a baby, that makes you the father" that...

If only things were easy...

well...

Fri, 08 Jun 2007 16:40:21 GMT

Ok, so clearly I am not over this yet... and I doubt I will be...

she was my first real anything...

I know that like, last night, but for different reasons, I wont be able to sleep tonight...

I so dreamt about this long ago, and I should have realised!

Fri, 08 Jun 2007 16:18:30 GMT

Tonight was the year 12 drama production. Ruffian on the Stair was good... I think Dooley was the best ruffian I have seen though...

Brett did well, as did Rachel.

I didnt watch A midsummer night dream because its more like a midsummer nights DRAG!

Apparently she nearly died when she saw I was going to watch... Meh, Bretts my friend and hes supported me and my band in all of our endeavours, I felt that I owe it to him to suck it up and watch him perform, regardless of the fact that she is also in year 12 drama.

I think its sad that it takes videogames to make a party fun for sober people...

that said

Im sure all the people binge drinking, the nerds playing chess with shotglasses for pieces, nigger and co. and her all had the time of their lives...

I just hope that I wasnt the cause for her to drink tonight because thats really stupid, I kinda feel guilty though, I kinda promoted that kind of behaviour when we were together... Although, I have been told of a darker history...

Nevermind.

I hate this I so need to vomit feeling I get when I see her though... Its something i just cant shake... Once upon a time, the adrenaline mixing with stomach acid was a good feeling... Now its just sad...

So, "Let's stay friends" isnt really what it sounds like... Its more like, "Im saying this to soften the blow, I never want to see or hear from you, I dont want anything to do with you".

I had that realisation, when I was moved from the top eight...

I dont want to feel so sick...

I dont want to not be friends

I wont push the issue though, as much as I valued her friendship, if she doesnt want it, then so be it...

Fuckin ZING!

Road trips.

Sun, 27 May 2007 08:31:35 GMT

Went to adelaide for a road trip to see Alexisonfire...

Good Band

Great support band, Moneen... absolutely incredible...

Sleeping in a double bed by yourself is amazingly lonely...

Nick gives me the shits sometimes...

ROBOT CHICKEN SEASON 1!

The Haunted

Wed, 11 Apr 2007 11:03:03 GMT

I so thought I was over this...

I never thought that it could be as bad as people "were making it out" to be, but alas... I was wrong.

Its not her fault, but I feel like I'm being haunted...

I dream of her when I'm asleep, and when I'm alone she enters my head...

Last night it got to be so much, that I had to leave home (as it was nearing my bed time) to clear my head, I went up to the look out that we used to go to (of all places) and lay on a bench, looked at the stars and listened to IKTPQ... That was kinda theraputic... But she just wont leave me alone...

I saw her today as I got lunch and shes chatting to me on MSN right now...

i never thought it would hurt this much...

Oh well... I will get over her, eventually...

Non-recy-cables

Sat, 17 Mar 2007 02:32:40 GMT

Jury duty fucking sucks so much...

Its the most wicked awesome form of boredom

being held against my will by the government so another man can go to jail

Wed, 14 Mar 2007 13:03:52 GMT

Well...

tonight, Gavin, Dick, Spongey and I all escaped the capture of the POLICE!

fucking godlike okay...

well anyway...

The kitchen is nothing compared to the seventh circle of hell...

Sun, 04 Mar 2007 03:18:06 GMT

Boredom and lonliness are a bad combination... They typically lead to pornography...

I managed to abstain though, my mum was awake until 1am.

Leg cramps when asleep really do suck, and are incredibly painful...

I am bored and lonley today as well...

I would do anything to have Gavin and Nick in town, just so we could hang out at maccas and drink shitty coke and talk shit without a care in the world... I miss those days... I miss crag

Im going to practice my bass

1 month

Tue, 27 Feb 2007 10:12:03 GMT

So, today marks 1 month since Dani and I broke up...

the one thing I miss the most?

the companionship, having someone who I could talk to, tell 90% of my thoughts to, someone who could relate with me...

oh well

Lonliness

Sat, 24 Feb 2007 11:09:57 GMT

When you lose the one thing that is quite possibly the best thing that you think has happened in our life, how do you feel? Empty?

Every weekend since Saturday 27th of January has been empty for me... Monday to Friday, I wake up, and I have a purpose, to tidy myself and be ready to present myself for work. 7 and a half hours later, I am ready for tea and then to unwind before I go to sleep...

Since we broke up, my weekends have been filled with a void of nothingness...

I wake up, and think about who I could possibly hang out with... The people who always make the shortlist are: Nick, Gavin, Saxon, Brett...

The shortlist is then shortened, generally because of these peoples occupations or other committments, girlfriends, etc...

Today, no one could hang out...

That led to boredom, me lacking inspiration to do anything which could have been interesting, simply because I had no one to do things with...

Boredom led to lonliness, thinking about what I could have been doing with these people who couldnt be with me for whatever reasons...

Anyway, I end up feeling shit and really down because no one wants anything to do with me and Its driving me crazy... I have such a small group of friends now, compared to when I was in year 10 at High School.

Infact, I'd be lucky if that group would spill out onto my second hand...

Is this depression? I hate depressed people, they get me down.

Bad case of the cant be's and other allfictions

Sat, 24 Feb 2007 01:24:00 GMT

Yeah

I have a bad case of the cant bes

and

The no friends blues.

No one wants anything to do with me

It fucking sucks...

I need friends, who are my age...

who share interests with me...

Im stuck in a hole of youth...

Last night I was at the radio with friends who are 17 years old... Thats 3 years difference...

My ex-girlfriend still hasnt turned 17...

Im in a band with guys who are at least 2 years younger than me...

This fucking sucks

Mon, 19 Feb 2007 08:42:53 GMT

Damn, a hard days rocking

So saturday was a big day

I dont think many people understood the Dan harwkins shirt change though

Wed, 31 Jan 2007 02:15:23 GMT

I dont know why I listened to the black parade last night but one song got stuck in my head...

two relevant parts from that song:

Well, when you go
Don't ever think I'll make you try to stay
And maybe when you get back
I'll be off to find another way

When you go
Would you have the guts to say
"I don't love you
Like I loved you
Yesterday"

Mon, 29 Jan 2007 02:40:50 GMT

complete loss of appetite and ability to sleep...

this has completely fucked me over...

its not her fault...

i just wish that I could stop thinking of her and wishing only the best upon her because then, maybe, I might actually be alright...

but when I'm alone, she comes sneaking into my head and its torture...

This sucks so much

Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:21:44 GMT

Feeling so ridiculously shit right now.

Last night I let my emotions get the better of me and broke my vow by trying to drink the sorrow but, alas, I suck at drinking and didnt get drunk.

I gathered up my courage and asked her some questions, which as hard as it was to do, kinda helped but at the same time was bloody hard.

I hardly slept last night, its hard to do when the only person you think about decides its just not mutual anymore...

Also, no matter when I go to sleep, I manage to always wake up at 10:30 at the latest... Work has fucked me there...

Whatever, I now know what emos are going through.

Sat, 27 Jan 2007 04:32:18 GMT

well that just sucks now, doesnt it?

stuff

Sun, 14 Jan 2007 13:13:49 GMT

Half of my face is sunburnt. as in, everything from my left ear to the centre of my face, excepting that dent in the middle of ones top lip is burnt badly, everything right of the middle is slightly burnt... Its what happens when you have your face slightly covered by a camera.

Lots of money so I can afford my custom made, Shaped to fit bass

Serious overtime means serious MOOLAH!

And, tonsillitis and arguments suck... get better soon.

Mon, 01 Jan 2007 12:26:34 GMT

So basically, after my effort at christmas, I hated myself.

I filmed a bushfire on sunday, sucked so much.

Hmm

Other stuff. cant remember

Sat, 23 Dec 2006 09:14:29 GMT

Marty DiBergi: It's very pretty.
Nigel Tufnel: Yeah, I've been fooling around with it for a few months.
Marty DiBergi: It's a bit of a departure from what you normally play.
Nigel Tufnel: It's part of a trilogy, a musical trilogy I'm working on in D minor which is the saddest of all keys, I find. People weep instantly when they hear it, and I don't know why.
Marty DiBergi: It's very nice.
Nigel Tufnel: You know, just simple lines intertwining, you know, very much like - I'm really influenced by Mozart and Bach, and it's sort of in between those, really. It's like a Mach piece, really. It's sort of...
Marty DiBergi: What do you call this?
Nigel Tufnel: Well, this piece is called "Lick My Love Pump".

Tue, 12 Dec 2006 10:23:46 GMT

Love and Peace and other Good Happiness stuff

Sat, 02 Dec 2006 09:04:02 GMT

Goosh